MEET BRANDIE: FROM HOMELESS TEENAGE MOM TO A SALVATION ARMY ANGEL TREE DONOR
The Salvation Army of Central Maryland is thankful for all its donors. If it wasn’t for our donors, we wouldn’t be able to feed the homeless, let alone, provide Christmas for thousands of kids across Central Maryland. One of our newer donors, named Brandie, recently donated several trash bags worth of toys ranging from dolls, scooters, and blocks for our upcoming Angel Tree drive this year. She didn’t want to wait until Christmas to start giving to kids in need. Out of the blue, she called up our Special Events and Volunteer Coordinator, Samantha Bowman and scheduled a date to deliver oodles of toys.
This spur of the moment decision to donate toys for The Salvation Army’s Angel tree drive— early in the year—came from a place of giving thanks. For it wasn’t 18 or so years ago, that Brandie was also an Angel Tree recipient.
Born and raised in West Baltimore, Brandie grew up in a single parent household. Her mom and siblings were barely scraping by. “I grew up with a single mother of 4 children. My mother struggled a lot and there were several nights in our life where we didn’t have food, water, or gas or electric. I only briefly escaped these conditions when I went to school,” said Brandie.
Growing up in poverty, Brandie didn’t notice these conditions right away. She thought this was normal until she first entered middle school. During that time, she noticed how her friends always had clothes, food, and daily necessities. “It was hard,” said Brandie. “My mother had mental health issues. Although my mom was there, she wasn’t mentally there. My older sister and I had to fend for ourselves. My older sister took care of me a lot. She made sure I had food. There were things she did to help us out. When two younger siblings came along, our community got involved. My mom’s younger brother, and godmother, took care of one of my other siblings. In the house, it was just me and my little baby sister left. My older sister grew up and moved out, but she still did what she could to take care of us.”
Life got harder for Brandie once she became a teen mom in 2001. She couldn’t live with her mother and raise a child alone. She needed some help and asked her friends for advice on what to do next. One friend referred Brandie to The Salvation Army of Central Maryland for basic resources.
“Growing up with my mother, she couldn’t afford to get us anything for Christmas. My cousin Tiffany would help me open up her gifts but they were always her gifts. I never wanted my child to feel like. However, when I became a parent, there wasn’t much I could give my child. I was too young for social services and I couldn’t get a job at 16. I also didn’t have anyone to watch the baby. So I came to The Salvation Army, and they were my last hope. They supplied Pampers, Giant gift cards, food, and resources for my daughter. And for Christmas, it was just so overwhelming the things The Salvation Army provided for my daughter.” Brandie has been a part of the Angel Tree program for 18 years.
If Brandie didn’t ask for help, she didn’t know where she would be today. She noted that people in her community in West Baltimore are afraid to get any “outside” assistance. She’s currently helping a young lady who is pregnant and this young lady is afraid to get any assistance. She is terrified her children will be taken away if she asks for help outside of her community. “There’s a lot of parents in the poor community that is scared to ask for help.” Because of this fear and other generational phobias, numerous children go without any food, clothing, or hope.
A generation of kids grow up without necessary tools to handle life. According to Robert, Brandie’s spouse, that’s where most of the crime comes from. Robert helps raise Brandie’s children and provides support for her. He also had a difficult upbringing much like Brandie. “My mom didn’t believe in therapy. A lot of African American people, from my experience, don’t believe in therapy. We have this deep-rooted trauma and we need to talk to someone outside of our community about it so we can find solutions. We have generations of people, not just black people, but all races that have issues and no where to go to fix them. We have a lot of people with disabilities that are not diagnosed. These people are having kids and passing this disability along and this has been going on for several generations. From kid to kid.”
Many people in these situations are not getting needed resources due to the fear of being deemed “crazy”. Robert and Brandie grew up in a similar household: without emotional or physical resources.
Brandie’s mom would tell her and her siblings not to report what was going on in the household. “She told me that if we told anyone what was going on in our home, we would be snatched in the middle of the night and never given back,” said Brandie. “I grew up scared. I also knew when I was pregnant at 16 that raising my baby at my mom’s house wouldn’t work. I chose to leave home. The first couple of months, we were on the streets and then I got my very first apartment.” The landlord understood Brandie’s situation and reduced her monthly rent to $350.00. Right after getting a permanent-address, Brandie cleaned homes and fixed people’s hair to earn money. Once her daughter was diagnosed with intellectual disabilities by age 4, she devoted all her time into caring for her child.
Brandie’s memories at 16- years- old, both shake and motivate her to give back. She still remembers back to a time when her and her daughter were homeless. Before landing her first apartment, she and her child would sleep at a nearby park, and use the McDonald’s bathroom to wash up. She would use her daughter’s visits to Kennedy Kreiger to fill up a bottle with hand soap so they can wash up the next day. “My struggles as a teenage mom and with growing up as a child in a neglected home, inspired me to save children. I know I can’t save every single one of them but if I can reach one kid at a time that means the world to me. Being a foster mom and giving back to The Salvation Army’s Angel Tree program means I can let children know that someone does care about them. Kids can’t pick their situation. Sometimes, they are born into it. So, I wanted to let them know that there are people out there who care. I really worry a lot about these kids. Do these kids have food or clothes? I was a child like that not too long ago. I just don’t want a kid to feel the way I felt growing up.”
Currently, Brandie is in a place in her life where she can give back to children and give back to the organization that helped her at her most vulnerable.
As of today, Brandie is a foster mom and owns a home in Towson, Md with her husband Robert. Her four kids, three with disabilities, are graduating high school and going after their dreams. “I love seeing my kids push through their disabilities and don’t let them stop them. My oldest daughter, who has an intellectual disability, just recently did an internship with Howard County police department and currently works at Harris Teeter. She dreams to be a nurse one day. My son with a speech delay, cleans surgical instruments at the University of Maryland. My kids are determined to succeed despite these hardships. I was so scared. I told my husband that I am not worried about my kids dealings with the world. It’s the world I got to teach about my kids. The world looks down on children with disabilities. And through the bullying and teasing, my children pushed through and accomplished so many goals.”
Brandie’s idealism for saving all children is often grounded by Robert’s pragmatism. He reminds her often she, alone, “cannot save every kid in the world.” However, these is a constant impetus in her that morphs her into “Mother Goose” whenever she meets a child in need. Robert noted that over the years, every child she helps calls her this beloved nickname because she uses her time, energy, and resources to take care of them. The neglected children she has taken care of over the years, have parents who work or have a drug addiction. “The parents sometimes have the money but they choose to not use it on their children. I know what it’s like to be forgotten. I know what it feels like not to eat. I know what it’s like not to have heat during the winter. I know what it feels like not to have my hair done and when I don’t have clean clothes. As a child, I would have to steal food to survive. At times, I would have to steal clothes. I just want children out there to know that there are people out there who will support you. I wish we can all give back all year round, and not just around Christmas time. I do know that The Salvation Army does have programs to support parents, but I believe some parents are scared to ask for help. Some parents fear being judged, and they fear losing their kids. I know for a fact that there’s a lot of parents who feel this way, yes.”
Giving back to The Salvation Army, the first organization she turned to as a teenage, homeless, mom means a lot to Brandie. She knows The Salvation Army can reach more families and that it’s safer donating through this organization. Anyone in need can turn to The Salvation Army to get clothes, household items, and food. “The Salvation Army helps millions of people throughout the year. It’s not just Christmas time but every single day. I believe for the single mother who think this is the end, it is not. There are people out there who care. Please do not give up! Don’t feel bad about your struggles and seek help. You won’t be judged, and you won’t lose your children. You know, there are programs that can help in every situation. If you need housing, if you are losing your home. If you are a home owner, there are programs out there that can help you save your house. There are programs out there to give you food and to give your child resources they need. Please seek the help.”
Brandie also believes everyone should give back. Love is not selfish and it also means to share with others. By spreading love, you can break generational trauma. She also believes people from all income brackets should donate back to The Salvation Army because “The Salvation Army is more than The Salvation Army.”
“The Salvation Army is hard at work all year round. Honestly, The Salvation Army becomes your family and provides so many great services. I think donors should care about The Salvation Army because they are saving lives. They are saving a lot of lives. Even if you are not in a dire situation someone you know may need help. I think everyone should donate to The Salvation Army. Even if you are donating 50 cents or a dollar. Every little bit counts. If it wasn’t for companies like The Salvation Army, a lot of people won’t have hope. I want to personally thank The Salvation Army for all that they do. The Salvation Army helped me get through the worst years of my life. You all gave me hope and the tools to build the life that I want.”